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As the days roll ever shorter and the clocks go back, most Brits are only thinking of one special celebration this year... Christmas? A bit far away. Bonfire night? No way.
No, it’s everybody’s favourite American import - excluding Friends - Hallowe’en, that night at the end of October where everybody dresses as their favourite ghouls, ghosts and clever takes on horror film characters in search of tricks and treats.
On one hand, it’s hard to be cynical about seeing a troop of adorable children dressed as the Ghostbusters; on the other, if we have to see one more “hot take” on a Pennywise outfit, we might actually scream.
That’s why for 2017 we have compiled a handy guide to some connectivity-related, adult-themed fancy dress options to make sure that you can party in style and relative sophistication this year. Just hope that you don’t have to spend too long explaining them to fellow partygoers…
Materials required: Lots of paper
Explanation necessary: Lengthy
There’s no more terrifying adversary this year than the EU’s incoming data protection legislation, guaranteed to spice up any festivities this year. Achieve the desired effect by sellotaping endless pages of legalese to yourself and wittering on about the difference between “controllers” and “processors”.
Materials required: The sky’s the limit
Explanation necessary: Some
There is an awful lot of room for artistic interpretation with this suite of costume choices. Your guess is as good as anyone’s when it comes to imagining how “NotPetya”, “Nemucod” or “Jaff” might be turned into a costume. “Locky” is pretty self-explanatory and “Spora” has a lot of room for mushroom-based shenanigans. Do the perfect “WannaCry” impression by stealing someone’s medical records and refusing to give them back until they buy the next drink.
Materials required: Up to you; you can get conceptual with this one
Explanation necessary: Absolutely none, as everyone is already way too familiar
Brexit, for all the uncertainty it promised, has been a bit lacking in its role as horrible villain, but has definitely been in everyone’s bad books if only for the sheer weight of bureaucracy it represents. Go for a simple ripped up Geri Halliwell dress if you like, or go for something more high-brow, like the UK’s lost IT and connectivity talent, or dwindling trade tariffs.
Materials required: A white t-shirt, a pen
Explanation necessary: By our reckoning, a few hours
Bitcoin, everybody’s favourite buzzword that requires a half-hour powerpoint to explain, is also everybody’s favourite ironic costume this year. You know that person who always turns up in a pithy, plain T-shirt based number? Dazzle them with your take: a blockchain ledger recorded on your very person made of a permanent list of every partygoer who failed to understand your costume or the concept of cryptocurrency in general.
Materials required: An Alexa, an old microwave, several miles of wire
Explanation required: Some
Always promised to be the next big tech thing, simulate your own interpretation of the IoT by strapping an Alexa to your chest and asking it to play “The Monster Mash” on a 10-minute rotation.
Materials required: Your best suit, Californian tan, rocket fuel
Explanation necessary: A quick summary of your plans for world domination
Though it might take you some time to get the hair and condescension absolutely right, everybody will recognise your amazing plans for the electric car/moonbase/cloud-based AI industry for the genius that they display. Extra points if you can come up with a new idea that even a start-up would balk at during the Hallowe’en party.
Materials required: One afternoon, a cardboard box and some paint
Explanation necessary: None
The spookiest Halloween appearance there is. TERRIFY your friends with decades-old technology! MYSTIFY onlookers with your antiquated hardware and incompatible drivers! REMIND partygoers that nobody remembers how to work that weird stack in the corner of the server room that definitely runs on coal power.